24 Apr Navigating Workplace Dilemmas
Coaching offers clients a safe space to discuss workplace challenges. Often our conversations focus on navigating interpersonal conflict, figuring out appropriate levels of information to share within a team, or strategies to get clear on what others are thinking. A great tool I often use in these situations is reframing.
Reframing involves consciously shifting your perspective on a situation. I ask my clients to envision taking the issue out of the anxiety evoking “picture frame” and moving it into a different frame. This technique is helpful when you’re feeling stressed about addressing workplace dilemmas. Here are three examples:
From Fear to Opportunity
Difficult conversations or disagreements can be overwhelming, and many of us instinctively avoid them. However, confidence comes through practice. The more you engage in these necessary discussions, the more manageable they become, frequently yielding easier outcomes than anticipated.
In my early days as a hotel manager, I was nervous about speaking with upset guests. Over time, as I handled these situations repeatedly, my perspective changed. Instead of dreading complaints, I began to see them as opportunities to transform an unhappy guest into a satisfied one. The more complex the issue, the more motivated I felt to resolve it creatively, benefiting both the guest and the hotel.
The Reframe: Shift from a “Fear” frame (“This is scary” or “They’ll be angry”) to an “Opportunity” frame (“How can I turn this challenge into a win-win?” or “This is a chance to understand and improve”). This change can turn anxiety into a proactive desire to make a positive difference.
From Fear to Empowerment and Trust
Deciding how much information to share, especially as a team leader, can pose a challenge. Often, the hesitation stems from a fear of misspeaking or potential repercussions, sometimes fueled by past experiences with rigid corporate communication protocols.
However, withholding information often backfires. Team members sense when something is withheld, and the assumptions made in an information vacuum can be more damaging than the reality. This uncertainty also consumes energy that could be focused on productive work.
The Reframe: Move away from the “Fear” frame (“I can’t tell them anything!” or “What if I screw this up?”). Shift into an “Empowerment & Trust” frame. Think: “Sharing helps my team do their best work,” or “Being open builds trust and stops the rumor mill.” See communication less as a risk and more as your job to help everyone focus and do their best work.
From Fear to Becoming an Information Gathering Detective
If I had a dollar (maybe ten!) for every time I’ve asked a client, “Have you actually asked them what they’re thinking?” and they sheepishly say “No”… well, I’d probably be sending you this blog post from the beach! It’s like we’re hardwired to play guessing games instead of just asking. But imagine how much easier problem-solving could be if we simply asked clarifying questions.
Consider these scenarios:
- A manager can’t figure out why an employee isn’t following instructions correctly. Instead of assuming incompetence or defiance, what if the manager asked, “Is there anything I can explain more clearly to help you with this task?”
- Someone worries about how going to the gym after work might impact their partner. Instead of stressing, they could ask, “I’m trying to fit workouts into my schedule. How would you feel about me going to the gym after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
The Reframe: Stop the “I’m scared to ask,” “I should just know,” or “I’ll guess” cycle. Put on your “Information Gathering Detective Hat” frame instead. Asking clear, kind questions isn’t nosy; it’s the quickest and smartest way to understand what’s really going on, solve the actual problem, and strengthen relationships.
Applying the Reframe to My Own Work
Speaking of asking questions, I’ve been blogging somewhat regularly since 2008 – that’s a minute! Sometimes I’m not clear about what would be helpful to you for me to write about.
So, instead of guessing (my old frame!), I’m putting on my Information Gathering hat (my new frame!) and asking you directly:
- What are your biggest challenges when it comes to productivity or leading others?
- If you had me as your coach for an hour, what’s the one thing you’d want to tackle?
- How can I make this little corner of the internet genuinely helpful for you as you strive to work better and live better?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Please share in the comments below or email me directly at [ellen at ellenfaye dot com]. I’m excited to find out what’s on your mind and address your questions in future posts.