Tips for Easier Living
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Tips for Easier Living

14 May

Posted at 20:40h in Change, Envision Possibilities, Procrastination, Productivity, Stress Management, Tips for Easier Living

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Be future focused. Remember the why not the what. Motivation follow action.

Here are some of my favorite thoughts on productivity. They aren’t what you typically hear, but they’ve helped me and my clients. I hope they’ll help you too!

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

This is one of the hardest lessons to learn. We often think that because we can do something, we should just do it. But building in a pause and asking whether it’s in our best interest to say yes is a powerful shift. Here are some questions to consider when deciding if the answer should be yes:

  • If I say yes to this, what will I have to say no to in order to make time for it? Remember, time is finite. You can’t keep adding commitments indefinitely. Are you willing to give up time at the gym or working on a project that matters to do this?
  • Is there someone else who can do this well enough? Not only could it be a good opportunity for someone else on your team to learn a new skill, but it might also be better for you to stick to your high-value work and let someone else do this.
  • Will doing this help me achieve a long-term goal or intention? Look at your goals for the year. Does this action support them? If not, the answer is most likely NO.

Retraining your brain around this takes time—it’s a new way of thinking. 

It may be less about setting boundaries and more about considering the future result of saying yes.

This is what we call a “time horizon” issue. If you look at your calendar three weeks from now, it may seem like you have plenty of time, and you might believe you won’t need to compromise your boundaries to say yes. But is that truly the case? You know how often things pop into your life and take up time that you didn’t anticipate.

Ask yourself: How would you feel if you had to fit this event, action, or task into your calendar this week or today? Would you still say yes?  

When learning a new habit—remember the why, not just the what.

When we try to change something, our brain tends to push back. Doing something different— even if it’s for our benefit—can trigger the brain’s threat response, leading to fight, flight, or freeze. That’s not the ideal mental state for making lasting change.

When making a change, it’s natural to focus on the “what”: the specific steps to implement it. For example:

  • “I’ll go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning before work.”
  • “I’ll do my daily planning with my coffee each morning.”
  • “Even though the report isn’t due until Friday, I’ll schedule time to work on it Monday.”

But what often happens? You know the answer! So try shifting your focus. Instead of just the “what,” consider the “why”:

  • “I know I will feel better physically and emotionally if I work out three times a week.”
  • “When I take five minutes to plan today’s tasks, I get more done, feel less stressed, and enjoy my free time more.”
  • “When I give myself time to write, pause, and revise, the quality of my work improves, and I feel more confident.”

Motivation follows action—not the other way around.

I often hear people say, “I just need more discipline.” But I believe discipline isn’t the key. How do you gain motivation? Simply—by taking action. Once you start, it feels good. Completing tasks feels even better. Success breeds success.

Remember, motivation follows action, not the other way around. This makes building habits easier. Give it a try: see if it’s motivation you need, not discipline.. 

A final note:

All these mindset shifts are valuable. But as we’ve discussed, trying to change too many things at once makes it harder to sustain those changes. My recommendation – pick one and test that for a few weeks.  Good luck! 

If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, Productivity for How You’re Wired, available on Audible, in print, and as an ebook all on Amazon.

24 Apr

Posted at 13:23h in Meeting Best Practices, Planning Tools, Productivity, Tips for Easier Living

Coaching offers clients a safe space to discuss workplace challenges.  Often our conversations focus on navigating interpersonal conflict, figuring out appropriate levels of information to share within a team, or strategies to get clear on what others are thinking. A great tool I often use in these situations is reframing.

Reframing involves consciously shifting your perspective on a situation. I ask my clients to envision taking the issue out of the anxiety evoking “picture frame” and moving it into a different frame. This technique is helpful when you’re feeling stressed about addressing workplace dilemmas. Here are three examples:

From Fear to Opportunity

Difficult conversations or disagreements can be overwhelming, and many of us instinctively avoid them. However, confidence comes through practice. The more you engage in these necessary discussions, the more manageable they become, frequently yielding easier outcomes than anticipated.

In my early days as a hotel manager, I was nervous about speaking with upset guests. Over time, as I handled these situations repeatedly, my perspective changed. Instead of dreading complaints, I began to see them as opportunities to transform an unhappy guest into a satisfied one. The more complex the issue, the more motivated I felt to resolve it creatively, benefiting both the guest and the hotel.

The Reframe: Shift from a “Fear” frame (“This is scary” or “They’ll be angry”) to an “Opportunity” frame (“How can I turn this challenge into a win-win?” or “This is a chance to understand and improve”). This change can turn anxiety into a proactive desire to make a positive difference.

From Fear to Empowerment and Trust

Deciding how much information to share, especially as a team leader, can pose a challenge. Often, the hesitation stems from a fear of misspeaking or potential repercussions, sometimes fueled by past experiences with rigid corporate communication protocols.

However, withholding information often backfires. Team members sense when something is withheld, and the assumptions made in an information vacuum can be more damaging than the reality. This uncertainty also consumes energy that could be focused on productive work.

The Reframe: Move away from the “Fear” frame (“I can’t tell them anything!” or “What if I screw this up?”). Shift into an “Empowerment & Trust” frame. Think: “Sharing helps my team do their best work,” or “Being open builds trust and stops the rumor mill.” See communication less as a risk and more as your job to help everyone focus and do their best work.

From Fear to Becoming an Information Gathering Detective

If I had a dollar (maybe ten!) for every time I’ve asked a client, “Have you actually asked them what they’re thinking?” and they sheepishly say “No”… well, I’d probably be sending you this blog post from the beach! It’s like we’re hardwired to play guessing games instead of just asking. But imagine how much easier problem-solving could be if we simply asked clarifying questions.

Consider these scenarios:

  • A manager can’t figure out why an employee isn’t following instructions correctly. Instead of assuming incompetence or defiance, what if the manager asked, “Is there anything I can explain more clearly to help you with this task?”
  • Someone worries about how going to the gym after work might impact their partner. Instead of stressing, they could ask, “I’m trying to fit workouts into my schedule. How would you feel about me going to the gym after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

The Reframe: Stop the “I’m scared to ask,” “I should just know,” or “I’ll guess” cycle. Put on your “Information Gathering Detective Hat” frame instead. Asking clear, kind questions isn’t nosy; it’s the quickest and smartest way to understand what’s really going on, solve the actual problem, and strengthen relationships.

Applying the Reframe to My Own Work

Speaking of asking questions, I’ve been blogging somewhat regularly since 2008 – that’s a minute! Sometimes I’m not clear about what would be helpful to you for me to write about.

So, instead of guessing (my old frame!), I’m putting on my Information Gathering hat (my new frame!) and asking you directly:

  • What are your biggest challenges when it comes to productivity or leading others?
  • If you had me as your coach for an hour, what’s the one thing you’d want to tackle?
  • How can I make this little corner of the internet genuinely helpful for you as you strive to work better and live better?

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Please share in the comments below or email me directly at [ellen at ellenfaye dot com]. I’m excited to find out what’s on your mind and address your questions in future posts. 

If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, Productivity for How You’re Wired, available on Audible, in print, and as an ebook all on Amazon.

12 Mar

Posted at 12:38h in Meeting Best Practices, Planning Tools, Productivity, Tips for Easier Living

Meetings and breaks are often viewed as disruptions to a productive day, but I’ve come to see them as essential anchors that provide structure to an otherwise unstructured day.

I’m not talking about a day where you have appointments all day long, rather one of those wide open days where you plan to accomplish boat-loads of work and where you see yourself getting tons of tasks marked off your list or make great progress on a big project.  What happens instead is the lack of structure results in lagging, procrastination, and the feeling you have so much time that you don’t move into action.

Don’t get me wrong, I can usually get a ton done on those days designated for “focus” work.  However, my productivity soars when I have a couple of meetings or appointments scattered throughout the day.  Let’s say I have a meeting at 11. Instead of frittering my morning away, my mind knows it has a couple of hours to complete tasks before I have to stop for the meeting.  This does two things:

  1. It pushes me into action much earlier
  2. It pushes me to push towards completion of the task I’m working on before the meeting.

Even scheduling activities like going to the gym can serve as a productivity boost. Actually, I love that as a pusher, since if I want to work another 30 or 60 minutes I can without consequence. It’s the idea that there is some structure in my day to help me be my best and do my best work.

I love discovering new productivity tools, and the stopping point is one such discovery for me. I imagine this is like what Frances Cirillo discovered with his Pomodoro technique.  Cirillo coined the term Pomodoro Technique in the late 1980s when he created a system to help him move through work with greater ease.  He built regular breaks into his work time.  A typical pomodoro (named for the tomato shaped egg time he used…pomodoro is Italian for tomato) is 25 minutes of work, and a 5-minute break  repeated 4 times.  You know when a break is coming, which is helpful  to keep you working.  I personally get frustrated with the 25-minute/5-minute cycle. I’m just getting into flow at 25 minutes and the last thing I want to do is stop. And 5 minutes is certainly not a long enough break for me.  But since we can make our own productivity rules, I changed my cycle to 50 minutes on and 10 minutes off.  You can experiment with this as well.

Incorporating structure into an otherwise unstructured day, along with strategically timed breaks, offers a powerful opportunity to test and discover the ideal amount of structure you need to do your best work and reach your peak productivity.

If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, Productivity for How You’re Wired, available on Audible, in print, and as an ebook all on Amazon.

01 Oct

Posted at 15:04h in Productivity, Tips for Easier Living

The Value of Systems

Some people love systems, while others resist them. Have you ever asked yourself why you have a system in place? We utilize them so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel every single day.

Most people strive for efficiency. This helps clear time for the tasks that need to be done, while still leaving room for the things we want to do. A useful tool for increasing our efficiency is a well-designed system.

What do you have a system for?

  • Getting ready for bed
  • Getting dressed in the morning
  • Paying bills
  • Establishing children’s bedtimes

These everyday tasks involve numerous steps, yet we perform them so frequently that they become routine. Initially, we need to think through the process, but after repeating it enough times, it becomes automatic. This is the process of learning and integrating new systems and methods.

What systems would be beneficial for you to develop, practice, and execute often enough to become second nature? Here are a few of my favorites:

Planning Today’s Work

  1. I review my calendar, check my emails for anything new, and look at my task list for high-priority items. Then, I assess how much time I have available for work.
  2. Based on this, I determine my tasks for the day. Sometimes I jot them down on a sticky note; other times, I work directly from my task list. It’s perfectly fine if it varies from day to day.
  3. What helps me the most is having a curated list of priorities to focus on each day. I strive to include only the work I can realistically complete. On days when I do this, I am often amazed by how much I accomplish.

New Client Onboarding

  1. I open my master Getting Started document and customize it with the specific needs of the client. I then save the document with the client’s name.
  2. Next, I open an email and use a pre-written template saved in my signature. I update the email with the client’s name, start dates, and materials needed, and add a personalized greeting. I attach the Getting Started document.
  3. I enter the client’s email address, hit send, and I’m done! This entire process takes just five minutes. I’m a bit embarrassed to share how quickly I can do this—I want my clients to feel special. Most of the time, the effort lies in the personalization.

Weekly Meal Planning

  1. I keep a running grocery list. Whenever I use an item up or get close to finishing it, I add it to the list.
  2. Before heading to the store (or ordering groceries), I plan what I’ll cook or eat for the week.
    1. My breakfasts tend to be repetitive. As long as I have eggs, fruit, and the ingredients for oatmeal and granola, I’m set.
    2. For lunch, I prefer leftovers from the previous night’s dinner. I also keep tuna fish packets, salad ingredients, and sliced turkey breast on hand—this is usually all I need.
    3. I enjoy cooking dinner a few nights a week as it helps me make healthier choices and serves as a great creative outlet. First, I look at my calendar to determine how many nights I can realistically cook. Then, I select recipes accordingly—usually around three. I try not to overdo it to avoid wasting food. I browse my collection of recipes (which I often change) saved in a three-ring binder or flagged in a favorite cookbook and write down the necessary ingredients on my grocery list. If an item isn’t available, I can figure out a substitute on the spot.
  3. I cook! Knowing I have ingredients for a few different meals gives me the flexibility to whip up whatever I’m in the mood for. However, I make it a priority to prepare fresh fish the same day I buy it.

From these examples, you can see that developing a system can apply to nearly anything. I bet you have numerous systems in your life that you don’t even realize.

Stop Reinventing the Wheel Consider applying this approach to the areas that challenge you. Can you identify one task that frustrates you and that you struggle to complete? Do you have a system for it? Probably not. Can you create one? Likely. If you’re having difficulty, please comment below, and I’ll be happy to share some ideas to help you get started.

Coming Soon to Audible: Productivity for How You’re Wired, print, ebook, and soon as an audio book, available on Amazon.

09 Sep

Posted at 16:40h in Envision Success, Planning Tools, Productivity, Productivity for How You're Wired, Stress Management, Tips for Easier Living

The last year of blog posts has shared excerpts from my new book, “Productivity For How You’re Wired.” Today’s post is the final entry in the series and serves as the conclusion to the book. It is relevant to any change you want to make. In a couple of weeks, I’ll share a post with you that isn’t from my book. I’ve been collecting blog ideas, and I’m excited to share new content with you. Remember, you can review the book highlights anytime at ellenfaye.com/blog.  I hope you enjoy this last “book” post.

Making Change Stick: I know you are eager to bring more order, peace, and control to your life. However, if you are serious about real change, you can’t rush the process. Quick fixes don’t deliver sustainable results.

I once heard a speaker say that when you change one thing at a time, you have a 90% chance of success. If you change two things at once, your chance of success declines to 63%. I haven’t been able to source this data, however, the concept makes sense. If you put your attention toward one thing, you end up with results. If you spread yourself too thin, you’re often left with nothing to show.

When I work with my clients, we start with one thing at a time. First, we consider the topic, then we study what has worked for them in the past in similar circumstances. We then strategize and come up with a plan. After that, my client will spend the time between our sessions to experiment and practice. They come back and we discuss what worked, what didn’t work, and where we need to tweak. We keep practicing and tweaking until it works and is integrated into their routines.

As you’re evaluating your own productivity and how you’re wired, keep in mind that focusing on one change at a time will drive results. Getting you from where you are to where you want to be is a process.

Integrate the change before adding something new — Keep your energy and focus on one new thing at a time. If you change too many variables at once you won’t know what made the difference. You are the experiment and you’re looking for your best solution. Observe and tweak. Work out the bugs and practice. When it feels comfortable, it is time to add another behavior change.

Understand the science — The brain learns through repetition. The 21-day habit theory has been disproven. The real science indicates the time it takes to create a new behavior is reflective of how often the neuropathways of that behavior are traveled in the brain. Think of a trail in the woods. If you take it occasionally, you’re fighting through new brush and undergrowth. But with frequent travel the path becomes clear and recognized. Brain scientists say nerve cells that fire together, wire together. The more you fire the cells and travel the path, the sooner the nerve cells will wire together and the sooner you will have integrated the new behavior.

Be kind to yourself — Set realistic goals and expectations. Backsliding (three steps forward, one step back) is completely normal. Keep yourself supported.

Be patient with yourself — Don’t undermine your success by rushing the process. It took years to create your habits. You’re not going to undo them in a week. Lasting change is a process. Give it the time and commitment you deserve.

This is from the conclusion of my new book Productivity for How You’re Wired available on Amazon. Many templates are included via the time tools link discussed in the book.

19 Jun

Posted at 17:04h in Envision Success, Planning Tools, Productivity, Productivity for How You're Wired, Time Management, Tips for Easier Living

Regardless of if you work full-time remote or hybrid there is naturally less structure when you’re not in the office. When working independently it’s important to anticipate diversions and plan for them. Here are some ideas to help you improve your productivity when working remotely or hybrid…and while on vacation or at the beach/shore/coast.

Weekly Planning 

When doing your weekly planning, identify the best times and places to do your work. Block out specific tasks for the place where they are most effectively performed. 

  • Project work, quantitative work, and focused work is best performed where you won’t be interrupted.  
  • Meetings, group work, problem solving and planning is great to do in person when possible.  

Plan Today’s Work 

Organizing your tasks by priority provides additional structure. Knowing what must be done this week and what must be done by the end of the workday keeps the focus on the right tasks.

When working hybrid, some find it beneficial to adjust their task list by changing CRITICAL and HOT to HOME and OFFICE, or add in subsections.

  • Be deliberate and identify what’s possible to do for the day depending on other commitments and amount of time the identified tasks will take. 
  • Add structure by identifying task start times and estimating duration on your “Today’s Work” list. This helps fight the “work expanding to the time available” challenge.

Delineate Work from Non-Work Screen Time

Be ruthless with your online reading time and social media time. Be selective about what you are choosing to spend your time reading and watching.

  • Set specific hours for online reading — that means articles, blog posts, texts, videos, and messages from well-meaning friends. If you stop for a quick read of everything that is sent to you, it will be hard to get enough work done. Experiment with blocking out time at the very beginning of your day, at lunch, or at the end of your day for personal reading.
  • Ask yourself, “what is reading this now keeping me from doing?” This extra nudge is helpful to keep you focused on the work you want to do.
  • Reframe and read without guilt! Build in a system to stop “reading on the ping.” Move what you want to read to a category or flag/label it for later. Then when you get back to it, you can enjoy reading without guilt.

Make and Use a Personal Dashboard  

Creating a tool to manage your own accountability is often helpful. You are doing this for yourself. There is no one to show this to, no one to judge you, and no one to applaud you. At the end of the day, it’s your life and your productivity. 

  • A personal dashboard is a simple tool that will help you monitor patterns for success. Additionally, it cues you to do your important work, builds habits, and helps you achieve your flow conditions.
  • This is especially helpful during times of change (Illness, babies, moves, new responsibilities). Once you’ve integrated the processes into your routine, the dashboard will have served its purpose and you may not need it any more.

Create a Workspace Conducive for Good Work

Most of what is written about working from home is about getting dressed first. I know plenty of effective people who work in their pajamas or exercise clothing all day. For most, what they wear doesn’t affect productivity. The bigger obstacle is not being physically set up for success. Having a workspace that supports good work is key.

Find a Quiet Space — Are you able to have a work conversation without interruption? While it’s great to have your kids close by, sometimes you need to be able to close the door and focus. If you are working in a “public” space, find a backup location designated for times you need quiet.

Create a Video Chat Friendly Zone — Of course, you want a quiet space where you can meet without interruption. And yes, good lighting and background are nice. However, you also want a space conducive to productive meetings. Do you have a supportive chair, enough space on your screen to open the chat and still see colleagues’ faces, room for your coffee or water, and space to take notes?

Have Supplies in Reach — Have pens, pencils, markers, sticky notes, letter pads, files, and your priority task list in reach. While your “office” may be your kitchen island, your dining room table, your back porch, or a comfy chair in your family room, designate a space (a drawer or cabinet close by) for the supplies that help you get your work done.

Set Up Your Technology — Many people say “I’ll do that later” and never get to it. Taking the time (or hiring someone) to get your tech set up makes a huge difference. Working from home shouldn’t be looked upon as temporary. Even if you only work from home one day a week, that’s 20% of your work week. You need it to be effective. 

    • Purchase the best internet connection possible. There is no time like the present to make this investment in your productivity. 
    • Get a printer. Is it connected to your devices? Sometimes nothing beats having a piece of paper to lay out in front of you or to read away from your desk. 
    • Create a real workstation with a mouse, keyboard, and second monitor. Buy a connector so you can easily hook your laptop in and out. A second monitor increases productivity exponentially. 
    • Designate a handy place to charge your mouse, headphones, tablet, etc. 

Intentionally structuring your time and space supports good work.

This is an excerpt from Chapter 13 of my new book Productivity for How You’re Wired available on Amazon. Many templates are included via the time tools link discussed in the book.