Stress Management
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Stress Management

30 Jun

Posted at 11:24h in Planning Tools, Productivity, Stress Management, Time Management, Tips for Easier Living

Ever stand in front of the fridge wondering what to make for dinner, only to give up and snack on crackers? Or scroll Netflix for so long you run out of time to actually watch something? It’s frustrating—and oddly common.

Here’s why: it’s not that you’re indecisive or lazy. It’s decision fatigue, and it’s draining your brainpower, making even the smallest choices feel surprisingly difficult.

One of my high-performing clients—smart, successful, and productive—once told me that the thing he and his partner argued about most wasn’t money or chores. It was what to order in for dinner.

At the end of the day, they were both exhausted. They’d scroll through endless restaurant options, debate what sounded good, get frustrated, and end up ordering late—or worse, not eating at all. That small daily choice became a major source of friction.

I suggested they make a simple list: five favorite takeout places and their top two orders from each. The result? Instant relief. They ordered faster, ate earlier, weren’t hangry, and most importantly, enjoyed their evenings together instead of wasting time figuring out what to eat. One little system turned a daily pain point into something easy—and even enjoyable.

That’s the magic of simplifying small decisions.

Decision Fatigue Is Real

Some studies estimate we make over 35,000 decisions a day—most of them small and forgettable. What to wear. What to eat. What to tackle first. Each one chips away at your mental energy.

And when your brain is tired, even “easy” decisions feel hard. You overthink. You second-guess. You procrastinate. Or you avoid the choice altogether and just do nothing (hello, standing in front of the fridge again).

The problem? All of that mental clutter spills into your personal time. You end up feeling frazzled, behind, and drained—even when nothing major went wrong.

Make the Easy Decisions Easy

You don’t have to overhaul your life. Just start by creating defaults—shortlists of pre-approved, go-to options that remove friction from your day.

Here are four areas where this can make a big difference:

1. What to Make for Dinner

Instead of reinventing the wheel every night, build your own personal menu of favorite meals. Keep your two go-to recipes from key categories—like poultry, seafood, vegetarian, meat, entrée salads, and hearty soups—in a folder, binder, or electronic file. That way, when it’s time to plan dinner, you can flip through your curated favorites and quickly pick something you’ll actually enjoy cooking and eating.

You don’t need a hundred recipes—just a dozen or so that you know and love. This makes meal planning easier and helps you avoid that overwhelmed, “I don’t know what I feel like” feeling at the end of a long day.

2.  Ordering In

Like my client, make a list of your favorite delivery spots and go-to orders. Save them in your food delivery app, jot them in your notes, or put them on the fridge. When you’re tired and hungry, this saves time, energy, and potential tension.

 3. What to Watch

Keep a “watch next” list in your streaming app or phone. When you finally sit down to relax, you don’t want to waste half the evening browsing. Make the decision once, and keep a short list ready to go.

 4. What to Read

Create a running to-read list so that when you finish one book, the next one is already lined up. You’ll read more, feel less decision fatigue, and avoid the rabbit hole of reviews and recommendations when you just want to enjoy a story.

 This Isn’t About Being Rigid

You can still try new restaurants, cook new meals, and discover new shows. But when you’re tired or low on brainpower, your defaults have your back. Think of these lists as your brain’s personal assistant—quietly saving you from unnecessary stress. Let’s keep the easy decisions easy… and free up your energy for what matters most.

Ready to Simplify More? If you’re feeling stuck in the weeds of daily decision-making, I can help. Through one-on-one coaching, I work with professionals and leaders like you to cut through the clutter, align your productivity with how you’re wired, and create systems that actually stick. Want more strategies like this? My book,  Productivity for How You’re Wired, is packed with real-life tools and ideas—and it’s available now on Amazon.

05 Jun

Posted at 19:22h in Organize to Thrive, Planning Tools, Productivity, Stress Management, Time Management

To Do List Magic

We all know we should occasionally organize our closets, and kitchens, and paper piles, but have you ever considered giving your To-Do or Task List a thorough reorganization? The results can be just as transformational. 

Before becoming a Productivity Coach, I spent years as a Professional Organizer, helping clients clear physical clutter. I discovered that truly lasting results come from a deliberate, step-by-step process:

  1. Remove EVERYTHING from the space (or section).
  2. Make intentional decisions about what to do with each item. Organizing expert Judith Kolberg introduced the concept of sorting items into three categories: friends, strangers, and acquaintances.
    • Friends go BACK into the space
    • Strangers are donated, recycled, or discarded
    • Acquaintances go into a holding zone (storage — just in case) or are returned if there’s room 

Making intentional choices about every single item—and being VERY purposeful about what occupies your valuable space—is genuinely MAGICAL. I can tell you if I go to organize my junk drawer (or any space) and open the drawer and ask myself – is there anything here that should go, I get an average result that lasts a few weeks or months. However, if I remove everything – and deliberately return the things-that-really-matter, my organization lasts a good year or more.  Try it – it’s amazing how effective it is!

But do we do this with our To DO Lists?  It’s tempting to stick with our usual weekly reviews, but just as our physical spaces benefit from an annual deep re-org, your digital or paper task list deserves the same attention. I recently did a full Task List overhaul myself, and here’s how I did it:

  1. I keep my Task List on a Google Sheet (as discussed here.)
  2. I made a backup copy, just in case.
  3. I added a new column and transferred EVERYTHING from my Critical/Hot/Sooner/Later/Waiting lists into that column.
  4. Then, I sorted and redistributed each item back into the appropriate category.
  5. I also cleaned up my sub-lists—professional development, major purchases, blog ideas, tech tools, tasks in progress with my VA—and deleted many obsolete or unnecessary items.

The result? A clean, focused, manageable list that clearly highlights what’s most important. Removing clutter is not just liberating—it drastically reduces stress and increases clarity.

A few key insights:

  • Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Does that task advance your goals or support someone important? If not, is it worth your precious time?
  • When everything feels urgent or important, nothing truly is. Time is finite—every “yes” to the unimportant takes away from what truly matters.
  • As Brené Brown reminds us, feeling resentment often signals that a task should come off your list.
  • Remember: what was a priority last week or last month may no longer be relevant today. Priorities shift, and highly productive people are ruthless about removing unnecessary tasks.

So, what will you REMOVE today?

If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, Productivity for How You’re Wired, available on Audible, in print, and as an ebook all on Amazon.

14 May

Posted at 20:40h in Change, Envision Possibilities, Procrastination, Productivity, Stress Management, Tips for Easier Living

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Be future focused. Remember the why not the what. Motivation follow action.

Here are some of my favorite thoughts on productivity. They aren’t what you typically hear, but they’ve helped me and my clients. I hope they’ll help you too!

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

This is one of the hardest lessons to learn. We often think that because we can do something, we should just do it. But building in a pause and asking whether it’s in our best interest to say yes is a powerful shift. Here are some questions to consider when deciding if the answer should be yes:

  • If I say yes to this, what will I have to say no to in order to make time for it? Remember, time is finite. You can’t keep adding commitments indefinitely. Are you willing to give up time at the gym or working on a project that matters to do this?
  • Is there someone else who can do this well enough? Not only could it be a good opportunity for someone else on your team to learn a new skill, but it might also be better for you to stick to your high-value work and let someone else do this.
  • Will doing this help me achieve a long-term goal or intention? Look at your goals for the year. Does this action support them? If not, the answer is most likely NO.

Retraining your brain around this takes time—it’s a new way of thinking. 

It may be less about setting boundaries and more about considering the future result of saying yes.

This is what we call a “time horizon” issue. If you look at your calendar three weeks from now, it may seem like you have plenty of time, and you might believe you won’t need to compromise your boundaries to say yes. But is that truly the case? You know how often things pop into your life and take up time that you didn’t anticipate.

Ask yourself: How would you feel if you had to fit this event, action, or task into your calendar this week or today? Would you still say yes?  

When learning a new habit—remember the why, not just the what.

When we try to change something, our brain tends to push back. Doing something different— even if it’s for our benefit—can trigger the brain’s threat response, leading to fight, flight, or freeze. That’s not the ideal mental state for making lasting change.

When making a change, it’s natural to focus on the “what”: the specific steps to implement it. For example:

  • “I’ll go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning before work.”
  • “I’ll do my daily planning with my coffee each morning.”
  • “Even though the report isn’t due until Friday, I’ll schedule time to work on it Monday.”

But what often happens? You know the answer! So try shifting your focus. Instead of just the “what,” consider the “why”:

  • “I know I will feel better physically and emotionally if I work out three times a week.”
  • “When I take five minutes to plan today’s tasks, I get more done, feel less stressed, and enjoy my free time more.”
  • “When I give myself time to write, pause, and revise, the quality of my work improves, and I feel more confident.”

Motivation follows action—not the other way around.

I often hear people say, “I just need more discipline.” But I believe discipline isn’t the key. How do you gain motivation? Simply—by taking action. Once you start, it feels good. Completing tasks feels even better. Success breeds success.

Remember, motivation follows action, not the other way around. This makes building habits easier. Give it a try: see if it’s motivation you need, not discipline.. 

A final note:

All these mindset shifts are valuable. But as we’ve discussed, trying to change too many things at once makes it harder to sustain those changes. My recommendation – pick one and test that for a few weeks.  Good luck! 

If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, Productivity for How You’re Wired, available on Audible, in print, and as an ebook all on Amazon.

07 Jan

Posted at 11:09h in Change, Productivity, Stress Management

One of the most interesting aspects of my work is recognizing trends. When I consistently hear similar things from clients, my brain starts making connections. I suppose this is what is meant by the term “thought leader”… at least, I hope so.

Here’s one of my recent observations: Clients who work from home prefer to talk at the end of the day, while those who go to the office seek recharge time. Challenges often arise in households when there are both remote workers and in-office workers.

I recall reading that in the “olden days,” when men went to the office and their wives stayed home, it was suggested that wives give their husbands time to unwind before discussing their day and children. While this may sound outdated, in essence, when we remove gender roles, the concept is not far off.

I notice that individuals who work from home yearn for social interaction. They lack the same level of connection as office-goers. Regardless of your beliefs about productivity, from a social standpoint, people working alone desire a sense of belonging. Studies show that this feeling of connectedness enhances engagement and commitment to work outcomes.

So, what is my recommendation? In coaching, we emphasize that change starts with awareness. We cannot improve something we are not aware of. Therefore, let’s recognize that those working alone have different needs than those who are in an office environment all day.

What comes next?

After creating awareness, we need to embrace this new idea. This involves experimenting with various solutions. It requires collaboration between at least two individuals, with communication as the initial step. This includes acknowledging needs, fostering an environment where needs can be expressed, brainstorming solutions, testing them, evaluating, and committing to the ones that work.

My clients have reported increased happiness by intentionally incorporating relaxation time, exercise time, and quiet time for partners who go to the office, as well as scheduled talk time for those working alone.

For individuals who live alone and work remotely, a proactive approach to combat isolation is vital. What social opportunities sound fulfilling? Can you join a club, engage in activities, set goals to see friends or family regularly, or schedule phone calls or virtual meetups?

One thing is certain – being proactive and intentional in adapting to this new working dynamic definitely improves work and life.  

Unlock your potential with my book Productivity for How You’re Wired! If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, available now on Audible, and in print and as an ebook on Amazon. Don’t miss out—I’m excited to share these transformative strategies with you!

09 Dec

Posted at 14:05h in Change, Envision Success, Productivity, Stress Management

Lately, at the end of my coaching sessions, a natural follow-up to discussing takeaways and actions with my clients has been asking them if there is a specific word or phrase they want to keep in mind to help them engage with the session’s actions. The word that keeps resonating with me is “mantra,” and I include it at the top of my clients’ session notes as their chosen mantra.

This practice has proven to be an effective tool for my clients’ growth, and it’s something you can also use to keep key ideas and actions top of mind for yourself. Central to this concept is the incorporation of your new mantra. I encourage my clients to commit to a technique that keeps this idea visible as they work on developing this new habit. Some approaches we’ve explored include:

  • Placing a post-it with the mantra written prominently near their computer.
  • Creating a graphic with the mantra as their desktop background.
  • Setting an alarm with the mantra as the label.
  • Adding it to the top of their daily calendar as an all-day task or event.
  • Using apps like Streaks for daily reminders.

The idea is that to establish a new habit effectively, we need consistent reminders that actively prompt us to move into action. This approach is far more reliable than simply relying on memory to remember.

The term “mantra” originates from the meditation practice of repeating a word or phrase to calm the mind and reach a meditative state. While my use is not about meditation, it indeed aims to bring calmness to the mind. Stress can push our brains into fight, flight, or freeze mode, hindering our productivity and keeping us from using our thinking brain. A habit-building mantra can provide comfort and stability during challenging growth phases.

Examples of mantras my clients have crafted include:

  • “Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.”
  • “Fear means I’m being brave.”
  • “I’m already everything I want to be.”
  • “Be patient with myself, I’m doing the best I can.”
  • “I fully embody and own my lifestyle without guilt.”
  • “What I have isn’t due to luck; it’s because of hard work.”
  • “Simplify: How can I make this easier?”

To create your habit-building mantra, start by identifying a new routine, habit, or action you wish to develop. Craft a concise phrase to motivate you into action, then select a method to help you remember to stay on track.

Matra is powerful.  What a great support to help you work and live better. 

Unlock your potential with my book Productivity for How You’re Wired! If you enjoy my blog, you’ll love the insights in my book, available now on Audible, and in print and as an ebook on Amazon. Don’t miss out—I’m excited to share these transformative strategies with you!

09 Sep

Posted at 16:40h in Envision Success, Planning Tools, Productivity, Productivity for How You're Wired, Stress Management, Tips for Easier Living

The last year of blog posts has shared excerpts from my new book, “Productivity For How You’re Wired.” Today’s post is the final entry in the series and serves as the conclusion to the book. It is relevant to any change you want to make. In a couple of weeks, I’ll share a post with you that isn’t from my book. I’ve been collecting blog ideas, and I’m excited to share new content with you. Remember, you can review the book highlights anytime at ellenfaye.com/blog.  I hope you enjoy this last “book” post.

Making Change Stick: I know you are eager to bring more order, peace, and control to your life. However, if you are serious about real change, you can’t rush the process. Quick fixes don’t deliver sustainable results.

I once heard a speaker say that when you change one thing at a time, you have a 90% chance of success. If you change two things at once, your chance of success declines to 63%. I haven’t been able to source this data, however, the concept makes sense. If you put your attention toward one thing, you end up with results. If you spread yourself too thin, you’re often left with nothing to show.

When I work with my clients, we start with one thing at a time. First, we consider the topic, then we study what has worked for them in the past in similar circumstances. We then strategize and come up with a plan. After that, my client will spend the time between our sessions to experiment and practice. They come back and we discuss what worked, what didn’t work, and where we need to tweak. We keep practicing and tweaking until it works and is integrated into their routines.

As you’re evaluating your own productivity and how you’re wired, keep in mind that focusing on one change at a time will drive results. Getting you from where you are to where you want to be is a process.

Integrate the change before adding something new — Keep your energy and focus on one new thing at a time. If you change too many variables at once you won’t know what made the difference. You are the experiment and you’re looking for your best solution. Observe and tweak. Work out the bugs and practice. When it feels comfortable, it is time to add another behavior change.

Understand the science — The brain learns through repetition. The 21-day habit theory has been disproven. The real science indicates the time it takes to create a new behavior is reflective of how often the neuropathways of that behavior are traveled in the brain. Think of a trail in the woods. If you take it occasionally, you’re fighting through new brush and undergrowth. But with frequent travel the path becomes clear and recognized. Brain scientists say nerve cells that fire together, wire together. The more you fire the cells and travel the path, the sooner the nerve cells will wire together and the sooner you will have integrated the new behavior.

Be kind to yourself — Set realistic goals and expectations. Backsliding (three steps forward, one step back) is completely normal. Keep yourself supported.

Be patient with yourself — Don’t undermine your success by rushing the process. It took years to create your habits. You’re not going to undo them in a week. Lasting change is a process. Give it the time and commitment you deserve.

This is from the conclusion of my new book Productivity for How You’re Wired available on Amazon. Many templates are included via the time tools link discussed in the book.